Any teacher will identify with the first day in a new class and those pristine exercise books where the first page lay pure and inviting, asking to be used, knowledge, freedom of speech or creativity soon to be etched on its pages. I’m still a sucker for a new notebook to write in and have no shame in admitting a secret penchant for stationery. A more philosophical meaning to the first page of an empty book, or in Victorian school life: Wiping the slate clean, is one which has formed the premise of many start of year school assemblies. The official Oxford Dictionary states the meaning of this phrase as “to forget past disagreements of faults and make a fresh start”.
As a teacher who has had approximately 700 pupils through her classroom door (although hard to be precise when I’ve had classes of 40 and classes of 7!), the pupils that I remember the most vividly and who remember me it appears, are the ones who benefitted most from a clean slate that I would give them. We are all flawed – but for children at this crucial age of 9-11, any number of factors can be playing their part. At home, academically or socially but it can be bloomin’ tough! Apparently I was there to hold those pupils’ hands when they needed it the most and ensure that in my classroom, they would feel safe to rant and explode one day but with the knowledge that the next, I would greet them with a smile and a clean slate. Even when we are ‘tortured’ surely unintentionally by our pupils (or indeed our own children), if we believe in new starts, this is what we must give them.
In my first year of teaching, one such pupil (who I still remember with fondness) slammed the door on my fingers during an episode of extreme anger. I don’t believe this was his fault (upset and hurt though I was) and had I reacted differently if would have been an abrupt end to a very short career. I stepped away, treated my pride and wounded fingers and met him and the rest of the class, with the same “right then, let’s get on with the lesson”. He had multiple complex needs, was not suited to a mainstream setting and for me it was a baptism of fire, but I wouldn’t have changed it. He only had me at that point in time and I couldn’t opt out of that.
As an adult, we also need people to grant us a clean slate. We are all still learning and if our ‘scribbled behaviour’ is not intentionally hurting anyone, we have no choice but to wipe the slate clean. If we do not, most of us mere mortals, will be condemned to a life of regret, guilt and repeated behaviour.
At times where I have felt at my most vulnerable, in need of guidance, I have turned to my ‘elders’, either previous teachers or figures in my life who I respected. We all have people like this in our lives and need to know that they are there when we need them and sometimes, reaching out and seeking them in your lives is required in order to get us back on track.
I have been blessed with numerous pupils in my life whom I would now call friends. I know this is not expected when those 10 year olds are in your classroom, but some souls are worth holding onto. There may be more than 20 years different in age between us, but similarities such as our ADHD, our fragility and strength in terms of mental wellness, have all drawn me back to these special pupils. Indeed, some former pupils have just ‘appeared’ numerous times when I needed that hug or words of affirmation, when leaving my much loved career. Other pupils have reached out, laying their souls bare at times of crisis – a privilege to be let back into their world, at a vulnerable time. One pupil shadowed me in the classroom for a year to enable her to pursue her childhood dream of becoming a teacher. This was enormously rewarding to feel I was playing a small part in her future, even at the age of 23. In doing this, it regenerated our friendship as we got to know each other as adults.
If a special relationship is built in our formative stages of life, it will always be remembered and it can provide a safe haven we can return to in times of challenge.
I know that I could not ‘fix’ every pupil that passed through my classroom doors, even if I passed them that ‘clean slate’. Other factors as they moved through life, meant that their story may not have ended happily. But I know that I wouldn’t have changed the teacher I was and building positive relationships was behind it all.
If we are willing to give others a clean slate, we must also be willing to give ourselves one at times in our life when we need to ‘go easy’. Each day given to us is a chance to right any wrongs, change our mindset, and to decide what we want written on that blank page.
Blog written by Jo Gotheridge 8 .9.25
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