Mental Health Awareness Week takes place from 11-17th May and this year's theme is urging people to take ACTION to improve their mental health and wellbeing.
This blog will focus on ways that we can ‘let some sunshine into our lives’ and recover from mental health battles by being kinder to ourselves.
It will include some useful resources which I will signpost you to and ways that we can all work on prioritising ourselves a little more.
It also includes extracts from my first published book which focuses on renewal and emtotional growth in a ‘cup half full ‘ way.
What can recovery look like? And how do we get there?
This is something that I have experienced first hand over the last year, having been in a very different emotional place a year ago. Having lost my mum, signed off work, absorbed by grief and unsure about what the future would hold, I was wobbly it is far to say. Also contemplating a future where I was no longer able to call myself a ‘teacher’ was a massive change for me and I felt unsure about my identity.
No longer a daughter,
No longer a teacher
And a lot of time on my hands – to think and overthink.
But stepping out of the classroom, I was forced to really consider what I wanted to be in my life and how I could best stay well, both mentally and physically.
The website Rethink Mental Illness states the following ways that can you can view recovery – although I think it is helpful to consider where and what you want from life.
- Taking steps to get closer to where you would like to be.
- Feeling part of the local community and working with others to achieve a goal.
- Achieving something that you find difficult to do, such as getting out of the house.
- Thinking more usefully and positively.
- Feeling settled with your treatment plan.
- Feeling more in control of your life and emotions.
- Having a better social life.
- Being able to have a healthy friendships and relationships.
- Having hope for the future.
All of this can sometimes be easier said than done.. but for me, I needed to regain some work life balance and ‘take steps to get closer to where I wanted to be’. Hence, me starting work at Claire’s!
But I had always been passionate about 2 things and was increasingly stretched for time to fit them in, swimming and writing. Both were crucial to my feeling of wellbeing. But not getting prioritised, when my head was so full of lesson plans, to do lists, etc.
I still know that when I swim, it is the only time I feel that my ADHD mind switches off.
Read on… and reflect on what allows you to switch your mind off.
Given my overactive, battery-driven brain, I have no choice but to ‘switch off’ when swimming. Something I have been told to do all my life, but never managed—not even in sleep. It is a surprise that I can do this, but the concentration needed to find the right pace, rhythm and stroke technique is all my menopausal brain can manage.
If I rush, I’ll tire.
If I stop, I won’t restart.
If I think, I’ll go under. (What a metaphor this is!) So, all I can do is swim. Still not ‘dolphin-like’ but with more of a sense of calm than I thought was possible.
Finding the elusive work life balance...
This is talked about all the time and sadly I feared it would always remain elsuive to me. Hopefully you feel you have achieved this a little more by working on supply. But us teachers are so engrained into taking work home with us, I had got to the point where home didn’t always feel like a place to rest, as I had piles of books everywhere, laptop on the sofa etc etc etc.
Identify with this anyone?
Even if we try one small action to help us build in a bit more R and R, it will make all the differemce.
I have never been one for laying lazing in a bath, but a good friend is a real advocate of this and I have ‘dabbled’ recently with surprising results. It actually forces me to stop!
Podcasts now make my journeys more enjoyable, rather than listening to nothing in particular and resenting sitting in traffic.
I also now roughly plan in time for my hobbies as otherwise life takes over and they don’t happen.
So I would urge you to try to build in something new or resume a neglected hobby, in order to make life seem less about work and more about YOU!
Navigating challenging times.
I don’t know about you, but I just about managed to keep the tray level, or the balls in the air, until something life-changing happens and then I tend to crash and burn.
Sound familiar?
I never felt that I would leave the classroom when I did, but losing my mum last March, it made me realise if I kept teaching with the intensity and pressure I put on myself , something would eventually have to give. I have been in this position before and went back to the classroom, but this time, I felt something was pulling me too strongly to ignore.
Sometimes we spend our energies, looking after others all the time and don’t ever prioritise ourselves and when we are wounded by life and what it throws at us, we can come at the very back of the queue.
It could be that we plough on, until the wheels come off:
A relationship breakdown, the loss of a loved one, worrying about a child, financial challenges, caring for an elderly parent, can all floor us and at times like these we really need to be kind to ourselves and it may take more than an aforementioned bath or an early night.
This might be the time we need to make some important, well considered decisions or follow my gut feelings.
Ending something that is no longer serving us is not always easy and can feel like a failure, an admission of defeat. It is not—it is making a judgment call which can allow space for better things…
How can endings driven by love be wrong?
How can endings which lead to healthier, brighter futures be wrong?
How can endings where you have acknowledged your limit and learnt what serves you best…be wrong?
The only place I needed to be was in my safe bubble—my home. This experience was to change my future, but I did not know it. This particular ending was to be the one that led to the words on this page; the rest is yet to unfold, but it is definitely not the end—only the beginning.
Letting the sunshine in... Quite literally!
Much has been written about the healing power of being outdoors and how good this can be to reset and realign us. Apparantly it is called ‘Biophilia’ (which translates to “love of life”) and refers to our biologically-driven need to seek connections with nature and other living things.
Now, I love a paddle in the sea at any possible opportunity, but I am no cub scout or park ranger. Only recently have I slowed down enough to notice what is outside the window. We all know what it is like in school to leave home in the dark and return back in the dark, never seeing the sun which shone in between. But now Spring is fully here, we can maybe fit in an early evening stroll or a spot of pottering in the garden.
Take a read of this article on 7-invitations-for-mindful-walk It suggests the following:
1. Go alone sometimes
2. Feel your feet
3. Open to your senses
4. Watch your thoughts
5. Be playful
6. Let in the good
7. Go with company sometimes
Sounds like an invite I should try to accept!
The forget-me-not has always been a species which can pop up anywhere, self-seeding. However, in the Spring weeks soon after mum’s death, as we were emptying her house, a flourish of these blue gems appeared in a gravel bed, where they had never grown before. I know this was no accidental coincidence and from this, I read that both parents were with me, guiding me in how to clear the house, with all its memories, respectfully.
Flowers are hugely symbolic and we can use them to understand human characteristics and personalities. One of the most interesting interview tasks I have ever been given was at my interview with Claire’s and it was to design a question which would encourage a response from its readers, on a social media post. I love to be given a creative free rein and soon my question was set;
‘If you were a flower, which would you be and why?’
I encourage you to consider your own responses.
Is your cup half full or half empty?
This may seem a very basic way of looking at it, but it is a phrase I feel proud to use in terms of me being a ‘cup half full’ woman! That said, at times, my cup has definitely been drained dry.
The routine of making ourselves practise gratitude is one that can really impact on our general mood, even if sometimes we have to ‘force it’. When I was a Headteacher, I made myself write down 3 good things that had happened that day, before I left my office and closed the door. This was so that, no matter how hard it was, I could make the drive home, thinking about those 3 positives.
As a mental health and wellbeing lead in a primary school, I studied many factors which could contribute to better mental wellness for our pupils. The most effective of these in my opinion was ‘change your words, change your mindset’. One of my biggest frustrations as a teacher and also a parent, was when children would utter those immortal words …“I can’t do it!” One of the most significant shifts in the attitude of my class was when they started to say… “I can’t do it YET!” This became commonplace language and our job as educators was then made much easier by the fact the learners had opened themselves up to the learning process. A gate had been opened rather than remaining firmly locked.
I spent many hours studying the work of Carol Dweck and others on ‘Growth Mindset’ as opposed to having a fixed mindset and is a truly fascinating area of psychological research for adults and children. Simply altering the way we word our responses and challenge our children to reframe their language is enormously effective. We can never develop into resilient adults if we don’t accept that mistakes will be made on our journey and that is okay.
Sometimes... just say 'no' and go SLOW.
Now this is not something I find as easy! As education folks, we are almost preconditioned to say ‘yes’ to everything. For fear that if we say ‘no’ we will be thought badly of.
My issue was that I said ‘yes’ to every social opportunity going, in a desparate attempt to grab some joy in amongst all the work.
I then filled my diary too full and ended up exhausted. Or I would end up cancelling then feel guilty as I would be letting people down.
I have become far more discerning at making a judgement call about how busy to be and make sure I plan time with NOTHING in the diary. Doing NOTHING is good for us too. We may benefit far more from that, then a pint with someone we haven’t seen in months or rushing round to relatives, only thinking of what else we need to do when we get back.
When life gets too busy, we need to learn to say ‘no’ for the sake of our sanity and those around us too. A racing round version of Jo is not always pretty. We all need people in our lives who will slow us down when we need it.
There are still, and always will be I hope, times where the Duracell bunny is released. I thrive on a busy, social gathering. I often get an extra ‘wind’ after 12 o’clock at night. I intend to go out ‘all guns blazing’ at my funeral to the sound of ‘Dancing Queen’, nothing solemn, still or mundane.
But this bunny knows when to rest. She knows herself and has felt like the light bulb has been turned on after 50 years of blurred confusion.
Blog written by Jo Gotheridge : 6/5/26
Photo taken by Lucy Hunter (one of our lovely teachers)
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